Mammal to Mammal Communication
by Zaidie
Summary: Series of unrelated one-shot conversations between Danny and Steve. #3 - Sometimes life isn't as black and white as Danny wants it to be. Steve offers an ear while Danny struggles to come to term with his actions.
1. Favours

Title: Mammal to mammal communication

Summary: Steve has to ask Danny for a favour.

Disclaimer: I don't own 5-0. Obviously. Or the characters.

A/N: First 5-0 fic. I apologize for the lack of a plot, or purpose at all... and for any OOCness. But I figured, since it's written, it may as well be posted. Unbetaed, so all errors belong to me.

Update: This is now a series of unrelated one-shots, which are short conversations between Steve and Danny. Not necessarily going to be in any sort of order, other than the order in which they get written.

* * *

><p>It was late when Detective Danny Williams looked up from his desk into the now empty main room of the 5-0 offices. The fading evening light was the only source of light beyond his office, and he knew both Kono and Chin had left some time ago. He hadn't seen McGarrett leave, but his office was also now dark. Rolling his head, he tried to work out the kink that was developing in his neck. A couple more minutes and he would be done his own paper work and on his way for the night too.<p>

He sighed as he looked down at the last of the reports in front of him. He should have known that being part of a 'prestigious' newly invented task force would generate mountains of paper work. Particularly as said task force was run by a certain Navy SEAL with a penchant for blowing stuff up.

Not that he had really been given much choice in his recruitment to the task force, he thought with a wry smile. It had certainly been an _interesting_ couple of months since the formation of 5-0. He still could not say he was entirely certain how he felt about it sometimes. Particularly in terms of his no-regards-for-procedure Neanderthal partner, although in the privacy of his own head, he did have to admit that the man, even in all his insanity, was growing on him.

Clearly the Hawaiian heat was frying his brain.

Glancing back around the office again he concluded there were at least definite perks to his new position. The high tech computer sitting in the main room for one – that was most certainly not standard police issue. Hell, two months in and he was still trying to get used to the fact that he had his own office. With walls, and a door. It would have taken years and some serious promotions before he could have ever expected that back when he worked in Newark or with the HPD.

And the cases themselves were certainly high profile. Though, that tended to contribute to the fact that he was now sitting here, well past quitting time wading through an enormous stack of paper work. Which he supposed would only get done if he actually did it. So after a moment he turned his attention back to the papers before him.

Only to glance up again, less than a minute later as a figure appeared in his door way.

"Thought you'd left?" Danny asked when McGarrett didn't immediately say anything.

The other man just shrugged and fidgeted with the file folder in his hand. He actually _fidgeted. _Danny looked more closely at him, and his keen eye noted that the man actually looked uncomfortable. There was an oddly hesitant look to his usually composed face; one that in the short time Danny had known him seemed wholly out of place.

"You uh, you got a minute?" McGarrett asked, the hesitance Danny thought he had read in his expression even clearer in his tone.

"Sure. What's up?" Danny asked putting his pen down and turning all his focus to the man in his doorway. "Case file?" he asked with a nod to the file McGarrett held.

"Huh?" McGarrett replied as he stepped fully into the office and let the door close behind him, even though there was clearly no one else left in the office. Then looking down, as though just noticing the file he was holding McGarrett shook his head, "No."

"Okay," Danny replied slowly, really not sure where this conversation was going. If anywhere. Getting this man to learn normal human communication was really going to take forever. If such a thing was even possible. When McGarrett didn't offer any further explanation Danny sighed, "How's your head?" he finally asked, wondering if perhaps the hit to the head that McGarrett had taken the previous day could explain his partner's off-kilter behaviour. Not that McGarrett's behaviour wasn't always off-kilter, but this was off in a whole new way.

"It's fine," McGarrett replied twisting the file in his hand again. "I was hoping I could ask you a favour."

Still really not knowing where this was going, Danny just nodded.

"I uh, had to update my files, and was wondering if I could list you as my next-of-kin," McGarrett finally blurted, looking anywhere but at Danny.

Danny stared at the man in front of him blankly for a moment. The man he had known for all of two months. Whatever he had been expecting McGarrett to ask him it wasn't that. "Uh what?" he finally asked.

McGarrett looked at him a moment, his face once again unreadable "No, it's fine, never mind." He said quickly. And that was when the full meaning of his request filtered into Danny's mind. _I had to update my files. _Which was apparently McGarrett-speak for the fact that he'd had to remove his dead father's name as his next-of-kin contact.

"McGarrett," Danny called and then sighed "Steve," he added, stopping him before the man could turn and make the hasty exit he looked like he was planning, "Sure, that's uh, fine," he offered.

McGarrett blinked at him for a moment, and then nodded slowly. "Thanks," he said sounding oddly relieved.

"Yeah, no problem," Danny said with a wave of his hand, as if to say 'no big deal, people who barely know me ask me to be their emergency contact all the time'. "Don't you have a sister though?" he couldn't help asking. He was sure he had read that during the investigation into John McGarrett's murder. Just as he now remembered noting that John's wife had been killed in an accident when Steve would have been still a teen.

McGarrett shrugged, "Yeah, Mary. She lives on the mainland." He said as though that explained everything. "I don't want them calling her anytime something happens. Besides she's uh… we aren't close." he trailed off with another shrug, although to the detective in Danny it was clear that was not what he was originally going to say.

McGarrett didn't say anything further, but Danny could read the unspoken '_And I don't have anyone else'_ painfully clear in the other man's tense posture.

~Fin~


	2. Coping

Summary: While trying to make plans for the weekend, Danny realize Steve isn't coping with things as well as he pretends.

Spoilers: Up to 2x10 Ki'ilua

Disclaimer: As nothing has changed I still don't own 5-0, or the characters.

A/N: I really want to thank everyone who read and reviewed my first 5-0 fic! I am so glad people enjoyed it! The positive response prompted a few other little scenes to pop into my head, and rather than post multiple short pieces, I figured I would just make this a series of one-shots. So each chapter is unrelated to the last, but will focus on conversations between Steve and Danny. As such, each piece is complete on its own. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this second little scene.

* * *

><p>"So I've got Grace this weekend," Danny said casually from the passenger side of his <em>own<em> Camaro as Steve drives them back to the palace.

"Yeah?" Steve replied, focus still on the road. Danny can't help but notice it's a little more on the road than his usual driving style. "Big plans?" he asks, though it seems almost like he is asking more because he feels he should than he is really interested.

"Well, not as such," Danny said slowly, still watching Steve closely. "But you know, she's been pretty set on that overnight camp-out _you_ put in her mind weeks ago."

If he hadn't been watching, he was sure he would have missed Steve tense. "Ah… this weekend isn't great for me Danny," Steve replied evasively.

Danny sighed, "Look, if you didn't want to take her, why did you even say anything? Kids latch on to things like this!" He had been trying for calm yet firm, but even he could hear the frustration creeping into his voice. Steve might not be a parent, but damn him, how could he not know how excited Grace would be about the prospect of going camping with her 'Uncle Steve'?

This time Steve finally did look over at him, a weird expression on his face. For a second he almost thought Steve looked ashamed. But that couldn't be right, as he was pretty sure that emotion didn't exist in Rambo's limited repertoire.

"Danny, it's not that I don't want to…" Steve protested.

"Well you certainly haven't been available much lately. And I know for a fact Catherine isn't even in port. So what is it? You avoiding my daughter now?" He asked, then paused, "Or me?" he added not because he really thought his partner was avoiding him off-duty, but hell, something was not right between them lately.

"What! No," Steve denied with another glance to Danny. They drove in silence for a long moment, until with a sigh Steve continued, "Look, Danny, I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you guys camping like I said. But if you and Grace want to come by and spend the day on the beach or something I would be happy to have you. I just… I can't do a camping trip right now."

Danny stared at him, barely even noticing as they pulled into his usual parking spot at the palace. "You can't?" Danny repeated confused, making no move to get out of the car.

With the road no longer an excuse, the way Steve's gaze fell anywhere but Danny told him loud and clear just how badly his partner did not want to be having this conversation. But at least he hadn't bolted from the car yet, so maybe they were actually making some progress. Still, something about Steve's tone and tense posture was telling Danny this really was not about a camping trip.

"Steve?" Danny asked, hoping to get his partner to at least look at him. "What's wrong babe?"

"It's just not a good time for me Danny," Steve replied, his tone begging Danny to just drop it.

"You just said you'd be happy to have us for the day, so what gives?" he asked, still studying his partner. He frowned as a worrying thought occurred to him, "You're not still nursing any injuries from uh…" he asked trailing off, not really able to bring himself to say the words. Looking at his partner most days it was hard to fathom that it had only been just over a month since they had rescued him from the back of that truck in North Korea. "You told me weeks ago that you were fit for duty," he added lamely.

"I am," Steve replied quickly, and Danny couldn't really argue, given that Steve certainly seemed to be up to his usual standards of extreme super-SEAL stunts.

"Okay," Danny conceded. "Just," Danny sighed not sure how to continue, none of them had really broached the subject of North Korea. Mostly because Steve was absolutely unapproachable on the matter, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized Steve had been off since they had brought him back. Not that he should have expected otherwise, but Danny could not help but feel guilty for not calling the man on it earlier.

Hell, he was mad at himself for not accepting that something was even off. It was easy to try and come up with excuses as to why he hadn't truly noticed earlier. Between cases, Chin's wedding and watching as Rachel neared the due date of the baby he had once though was his, Danny had been working hard to pretend he wasn't struggling with his own life.

But he supposed deep down he had just been hoping that Steve 'who-needs-emotions' McGarrett really had just bounced back from what had happened to him.

"Are you doing okay Steve?" He asked gently, knowing full well the answer was a resounding no. Still when Steve didn't immediately brush him off, or simply leave the car, Danny started to really worry.

Steve sighed heavily, and with his gaze firmly fixed on something utterly fascinating on the dashboard he shrugged, "I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping lately," he admitted quietly, sounding almost ashamed.

Danny blinked at him blankly for a moment, using his hard won year of experience to try and understand what Steve was actually saying. "Nightmares?" he finally asked softly.

"Yeah some, but it's been getting better," Steve explained bluntly, his tone shifting now, more like that of when he was briefing Danny on a new case. As though, he was talking about someone other than himself. "It's just sometimes it takes me a couple minutes after I wake up to," he waved his hand in the air vaguely, "figure things out, you know. So uh… I just can't have Gracie around for the night right now."

_Oh Steven._ Danny's heart ached for his partner's pain.

As rare as it was, Danny found himself at a loss for words at Steve's sad admission. Instinctively he wanted to offer comfort, say something, _anything, _supportive to his friend. But at the same time, he could not help but feel any sort of sympathetic understanding he tried to offer would not only be ineffectual words, but also have the undesirable effect of making Steve never share his feelings again. And damn-it it had taken him a year to get this far.

So maybe he didn't have the words to help his friend. After all, just what did you say to someone who had been betrayed by someone they trusted and then… He swallowed reflexively, barely even willing to think the word in his own head. But there was no dancing around the truth that had been blatantly clear when they had found Steve, injured and bloodied from being held and _tortured._ But maybe, he could at least offer the one thing that helped him get through his darkest times, and he may never have been through what Steve had, but he had certainly had his share of darkness.

"Well, no hurry," Danny said backtracking the conversation and trying his best to keep his voice steady, "I mean it is summer year-round on this pineapple invested chunk of volcanic rock. We can go camping anytime." He punctuated his comment with a wave around at the sunny day outside the car, "In the meantime, I know Grace would love to hang out on her favourite private beach and go swimming with her Uncle Steve." He said, offering up the one ray of light in his life, hoping her sweet innocent smile could bring some healing to Steve too.

At any rate, maybe an afternoon of Grace would chase the nightmares away, if only for a night.

~Fin~


	3. Crossing the line

Summary: Sometimes life isn't as black and white as Danny wants it to be. Steve offers an ear while Danny struggles to come to term with his actions.

Spoilers: Up to and including 5x06: Ho'Oma'ike, particularly 5x04: Ka Noeʻau.

A/N: I see this as an extension to the conversation between Danny and Steve at Danny's spot in 5x06. Not sure how I feel about how this turned out. I wanted to see this addressed in the show, but then when I sat down to write it I realized I didn't know what to say about it either…

* * *

><p>Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett was the first to admit that communication was not his strong point. Okay, maybe his partner Danny would say it first, but he did at least know it was true. Danny was the one who always insisted on the virtues of verbal communication. So the complete radio-silence he had been getting since Danny had left for Jersey was unnerving to say the least.<p>

He had tried calling a couple times, but the lack of answer left Steve with no doubt that Danny wanted some space. Which under the circumstances was understandable. Try as he might, Steve still couldn't forget the look of utter devastation he had seen on his partner's face when he had realized his brother Matty was gone.

Still, when the lack of contact continued even after he knew his friend was back on Hawaiian soil, he decided it was time to force the issue. Not finding Danny at home had not come as a complete surprise, but still he had figured it was a place to start.

It had taken him a moment to come up with a location on the island Danny would go to for solitude, until he remembered a conversation long ago with his friend about that one little place on the island his friend had found comforting back in his days of hating everything that was Oahu.

While Danny would still loudly protest his dislike of everything from the food to the beaches, they both knew Danny thought of the island as home now.

Even though he had been pretty confident about his guess, Steve had still felt a little relieved when he had rounded the last corner and could see the Camaro parked off the side of the road at Danny's private spot. After pulling his own truck to a stop alongside it, he had sat for a moment looking at his friend.

Danny had been perched on the short wall, looking off toward the ocean. He had undoubtedly heard the truck arrive, but had not turned to acknowledge it.

Once Steve had joined him on the wall, he had found himself unsure. Talking was Danny's thing, not his, but his friend was hurting and he wanted so badly to let him know he was there for him. Not that there was anything he could say to help ease the pain of losing a loved one. He knew that all too well, from more personal experience than he cared to think about.

So he tried his best, tried to be supportive. Still he had a hard time not calling Danny out when the other man had said he was 'alright'. Danny was so clearly anything but alright.

It was pretty easy to see the man was blaming himself. Steve knew all about that, in fact he had gotten really good at blaming himself for things he now knew that he could not have changed. And it had taken a really long time, and the friendship of the man beside him, to help him start to see that.

Still, Steve got the impression there was something else Danny was holding back.

Finally after a lapse into silence Danny abruptly said, "I killed him."

"Danny, it's not your fault," Steve replied sincerely. "Your brother made his own choices."

Beside him Danny shook his head, staring down at the water below. "Not Matty. Reyes. I killed him. He was unarmed and I… I shot him," Danny admitted quietly.

Steve supposed he should have seen this coming. He really hadn't, but he should have. "Danny…" he started, really not sure what to say. In the years he had known his partner, he had learned that to Danny the law was pretty black and white. There was a firm line between what you did and did not do. Procedures and laws were there for a reason, and this was a lot more than simply lacking a warrant.

Steve felt a sharp familiar pang of guilt at all the times where he had, and as a consequence had made Danny, step over that line. In the life-and-death moments, they both knew that sometimes that line stopped being quite so clear, and Steve was pretty sure Danny had come to terms with that.

"You know he would have tried to have us killed if we gave his men a chance," Steve offered at last.

"Maybe," Danny hedged, still staring down at the waves far below. "Still doesn't change the fact that I shot a defenceless man."

"I guess we just have to trust that in the end we did what we did for the greater good. Think how many lives you've saved by stopped Reyes," Steve said, internally wincing at how useless he felt his words were.

"We both know it doesn't work like that," Danny replied with a shake of his head. "Someone else will just take over, or move in on his area. Taking out one drug lord doesn't change anything. Won't save anyone."

"Look Danny," Steve tried again with a soft sigh, "I've done my share of things you might not exactly approve of. Hell sometimes I…" he trailed off. "What I am trying to say is, once it's done, there's not much you can do except learn to live with it."

Danny glanced over at him briefly, before turning away again. "That's different Steve. Whatever you did when you were at war, you were following orders. I chose to cross that line. Me." He sighed heavily, "I mean we are cops Steven, we are supposed to enforce the law, not break it."

"I guess it's a good thing you're always saying I'm not very good at this whole being a cop thing then," Steve replied. "Though I don't think I have any jurisdiction in Columbia anyway," he added lightly.

Danny shot him an incredulous look, and Steve just shrugged, unapologetically, and they fell in to silence again.

"Look I know it probably doesn't mean anything," Steve said seriously, after a long moment, "but I don't think you did anything wrong. I don't think one action changes the fact that you are a great cop, and a better man."

He really hoped Danny was hearing him. He really was not sure what else he could say. He briefly wondered if he should have tried to do something at the time, stopped Danny from taking his revenge. But it was a little late now for the what-could-have-beens.

"So now I just have to learn to live with it?" Danny asked quietly.

"Yeah," Steve agreed equally subdued. "But you don't have to do it alone."

~Fin~


End file.
